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good-morning stranger.
so i sit outside on the concrete steps of the library, waiting.
the library opens at 1pm on a saturday, how was i to know?
i sit and have fifteen minutes of waiting, listening to my ipod,
text-messaging my bestfriend and waiting to go.
an asian family sits and waits too, next to me. the young brother
and sister are running around eachother, being loud enough
so i can hear them through my music. two men come up seperately,
they too wait. but they stand leaning against the concrete walls.
five minutes go slowly by. a woman comes to the door, reads the two signs
& starts knocking loud of the glass automatic doors that remain locked.
four knocks. wait. nothing. another four knocks. wait. nothing. she turns
around and smiles ar the rest of us. no-one pays attention. one man wearing
oddly shaped sunglasses tells her that the library opens in seven minutes.
she turns to the door and knocks again. a librarian comes with a lanyard
around her neck portraying a key and an id card. she opens the door
& let's the woman in. i stand up, as do the asian family. the door closes
and the librarian in the red shirt locks the door, with two minutes to go.
i sit down, frustrated, why can't they just let us in? it's a freaking library.
why on earth am i even there? because it's too chaotic in the house to
focus on the psychology homework. conclusion; this is a pointless,
long entry. and libraries are too quiet and make my mind wonder.

location: empty room.
mood: rushed rushed
music: background noise.

comment.
the walls are naked in this rental room home, including my bedroom.

it feels weird.

mood: happy happy
music: the grates

comment.
i am moving house on sunday. into the new one, the place we knocked down a year ago & built a prettier, better one.
finally, i hate this rental house. although, i'm not looking forward to packing up everything + stress + tired + move + unpacking.
still, i am really excited.

location: chair
mood: cheerful cheerful

comment.
i hate the way every second lunchtime at school, the conversation gets turned into what or how much you've eaten and what nights you have personal training, and that today you'll let yourself eat lunch plus a fucking packet of chips even though "it's so unhealthy" but it's okay, because you have personal training that night. when you say all of this, it makes me want to yell in your face or roll my eyes so you can see for once. it also makes me stress about my body and food, which i hate stressing over because it's stupid. we are not defined by our bodies or what we put into our mouths. i don't judge anyone on what i see them eating, heck i don't even notice or care what people bring to school for lunch, and don't you ever dare judge me for that or think you're better than me because you eat and apple at recess and i have a museli bar.

location: sun window.
mood: lethargic lethargic

comment.
lately, or atleast the past few days. everything has turned into being about sex.

location: desk chair
mood: bored bored
music: blind melon

your words. or comment.
waking up next to you. after a series of pretty dreams.
turning over, to a smile on your face. &a tangle of the sheets.
a mess of hair, covering blue blue eyes. finished off with a gentle
kiss placed on our lips. open the blinds. bright sun. &the smell
of a new day. good-morning beautiful.

location: blanket.
mood: cold cold
music: kings of convenience.

comment.
i want to write a book one day, about nothing, something & everything. finishing it would be the hardest thing. i'd like to think people would buy it, read it &love it. i want to chop my hair off and be a new person. i want to not be scared of things. i want everyone to appreciate more like they do in books &movies. i want to walk down the street and tell someone my name, give them my number &tell them to call me in 5 years to let me know that their alive &tell me stories that prove they lived. i want someone to do the same for me. i still want to give a stranger a rose &i want to make strangers smile. just like you, i want to fall in love. properly this time. i want to paint or take a picture that expresses a thousand words &i want you to be able to understand every single word shown. i want to walk into a room full of balloons to play in, balloons that have especially blown up for me. i want this year to be a good one, better than the last. i don't feel trapped, but i want to be free &swimming in happiness.

location: bed.
mood: creative
music: none.

comment.
we can stand together on the dancefloor,
like two strangers, stuck between stories.

location: house
mood: thankful thankful
music: ben kweller

comment.